If you’re caring for someone you love or grieving someone you’ve lost, I want you to know something before anything else: you are not alone, and you do not have to carry this by yourself.

I learned this the hard way. In the fall of 2020, I moved into my mother’s home to care for her during her final weeks. There were nights, sitting beside her, when I truly did not know how I would keep going. What carried me through wasn’t just my own strength — it was my sister Natalia beside me every day, my sister Virginia arriving every evening after work, my sister Mary Frances calling from Kansas City almost daily even from a distance, and my mother’s own parish community and friends holding all of us in prayer. If you have a church community, coworkers, or friends and family nearby, reach out to them now, before the weight becomes too heavy to carry alone.

I didn’t discover the resources below until after my mother was gone — too late for me to use, but I hope not too late for you.

Nourish for Caregivers (nourishforcaregivers.com) — A Catholic ministry supporting the practical, emotional, and spiritual needs of family caregivers, with resources used in parishes across the country.

Friends of St. John the Caregiver (YourAgingParent.com) — An international Catholic organization offering spirituality, prayer, and practical support to those caring for aging parents and loved ones.

CaringInfo (caringinfo.org) — A free, trusted national resource for understanding hospice, palliative care, advance directives, and the practical decisions that come with serious illness.

GriefShare (griefshare.org) — A grief recovery support program offered in thousands of churches nationwide, including many Catholic parishes, for anyone mourning the death of a loved one.

Opus Peace™ (opuspeace.org) — Founded by hospice nurses, offers education on Soul Injury™, the wound that can separate a person from their sense of self, and tools for facing the tasks of living and dying healed.

Wherever you are on this road — waiting, letting go, or trying to find your footing again afterward — may you find peace along the way.

“Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.” (Matthew 11:28)

This list first appeared in the appendix of my memoir, Purple Flower on My Nose: A Memoir of Love, Laughter, and Letting Go, and in a recent conversation with Terry Modica on her Good News Ministries podcast (https://gnm.org). If you’d like to read more about that season of caregiving, you can find the e-book on Kindle here. The paperback will release on October 4th, the anniversary of my mother’s passing.